HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED WHY SO MANY MARRIAGES CRASH? WELL IT'S BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE DON'T MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON. SEE REASONS WHY YOU WILL MARRY THE WRONG PERSON..

ALAIN de BOTTON
MAY 28, 2016
IT’S one of the things we are most afraid
might happen to us. We go to great lengths
to avoid it. And yet we do it all the same: We
marry the wrong person.
Partly, it’s because we have a bewildering
array of problems that emerge when we try
to get close to others. We seem normal only
to those who don’t know us very well. In a
wiser, more self-aware society than our own,
a standard question on any early dinner date
would be: “And how are you crazy?”
Perhaps we have a latent tendency to get
furious when someone disagrees with us or
can relax only when we are working;
perhaps we’re tricky about intimacy after sex
or clam up in response to humiliation.
Nobody’s perfect. The problem is that before
marriage, we rarely delve into our
complexities. Whenever casual relationships
threaten to reveal our flaws, we blame our
partners and call it a day. As for our friends,
they don’t care enough to do the hard work
of enlightening us. One of the privileges of
being on our own is therefore the sincere
impression that we are really quite easy to
live with.
Our partners are no more self-aware.
Naturally, we make a stab at trying to
understand them. We visit their families. We
look at their photos, we meet their college
friends. All this contributes to a sense that
we’ve done our homework. We haven’t.
Marriage ends up as a hopeful, generous,
infinitely kind gamble taken by two people
who don’t know yet who they are or who the
other might be, binding themselves to a
future they cannot conceive of and have
carefully avoided investigating.

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