You’re a bright and beautiful woman with so much to offer and a buzzing life built with your own two perfectly-manicured hands. So why are you settling for so much less when it comes to choosing the person you’ll share it with?
It’s time to stop downplaying your successes, silencing your needs and accommodating bad behavior. You might fly solo a little while longer, but when you do couple-up it will be with someone worth your energy instead of someone who zaps it. So, if you’re guilty of any of these dating mistakes, prepare for inevitable heartbreak.
1. You’re constantly being his cheerleader.
We all have down periods and times when we need support, but constantly spending your energy trying to cheer someone up gets old. If he can’t motivate himself without you doing the rah-rah routine, he’s not relationship material. How can you have a happy, healthy relationship with someone who can’t motivate themselves?
2. You idealize the “future him.”
You know what’s better than seeing someone’s potential? Seeing someone work to achieve it.
3. You’re OK with sexist comments because he’s cute.
He tells you that you have a “great breasts” on the first date. Sorry, WHAT?
4. He has incredibly lazy dating practices.
OK, so maybe the days of showing up with flowers are long gone, but it’s a sad state of affairs when a man texting you “want to get together briefly tonight?” at noon gets us excited about a first date. This is supposed to be the time when he showcases the best part of himself and that’s all he’s offering you?
5. You’re swinging on his yo-yo of promises..
One day he’s all about a commitment, and the next he wants to take things slow. At this age, relationships should progress at a normal pace and consistency matters, especially when it comes to feelings.
6. You downplay your success to protect his ego.
A boss should date a boss or at least someone who’s proud of the fact that you’ve worked your ass off to achieve your goals. If he gets insecure about your success, perhaps he should be inspired to work harder on his own. And really, he should be shining a spotlight on all of your successes, not throwing you shade.
7. You try to change him.
“Oh, you can change that” is a common statement tossed around between girlfriends. Even if you can, why would you want to waste your precious time and energy building your version of a better man? Yes, we can all influence and inspire one another, but real change comes from someone realizing they can do better and want to do better, not from you doing it for him. If the guy is happy with who he is and you’re constantly trying to change him, he will feel you don’t love him for who he is and that’s going to hurt him and have him wanting to find a woman who does.
8. You pretend you don’t really want what you really want.
If you’re looking for a relationship or want to get married and have kids, you should absolutely be honest about that. Agreeing to “Netflix and chill” with someone when you really want a dinner-and-a-movie relationship won’t get you anywhere but frustrated.
9. You allow your biological clock to pressure you into a relationship you’re not fully sure about.
It’s hard when you want children and are single and feeling the pressures of time, but the reality is that having and raising children with someone you’re not sure about isn’t fair to anyone involved, including any future children you may have. If you want a baby, you can have a baby, but to have a baby with a man just because he’s a man is a bad, bad idea.
10. You use cute words and phrases to describe bad behavior.
Ghosting is actually ignoring someone. Referring to your time together as “hanging out” when you’re sleeping together is hurtful.
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